Life's a Ball If Only You Know It

I had a fantastic weekend! It included plenty of family, lots of being lazy, and some amazing food and beverages. We started off Friday with a family birthday celebration, Mom grilled salmon and asparagus just for me, and of course made another scrumptious carrot cake. All of the birthday greetings that trickled in throughout the week warmed my heart, and it was such a joy to hear from friends and family far away!

Saturday I got to spend the whole day with my Valentine. I woke him up with a customized breakfast of s'more-stuffed french toast grilled in a waffle iron, because that's how we roll. They actually turned out pretty well - if you're in the mood for a sugar rush and a carb-coma. We overcame, thanks be to some quality caffeinated lattes, and spent a couple of hours purging the file cabinet and sorting through a ton of paperwork that has been piling up.

After some productivity, we took a dip in the hot tub and got cleaned up for dinner. He took me to the pairing dinner at BRU, five courses paired with five different brews. We started with a smoked oyster and finished with a cream puff topped with cherry ice cream. The pairings were delightful, the food was delicious, and the company was both.

The night was still young when we finished at BRU, so we headed to the Lee Hill Upslope taproom. See, they canned their small batch of Wild Saison, and I had my heart set on getting a few of them. As a bonus, I got to try their special Valentine's Day cask that had hibiscus in it, and then got to lose at a tough game of darts. Overall, it was a great night.

Sunday was another lazy day - we have a game of Lego Batman going (he's Batman, I'm Robin), and we made some headway against the Joker level. Dad came over and helped with some electrical connections and then we snuggled in for another delicious home-made meal and a wood fire.

It was one of those weekends that makes you grateful for everything life is dishing up. I am so lucky to be facing the challenges and enjoying the benefits with a partner who loves me, family who support me, and friends who make me smile. La vie est si belle.

If You Love Somebody, Better Tell 'Em While They're Here

This has been a rough week. Bosco had to have an emergency surgery to correct a GDV and a gastropexy to hopefully prevent it from happening again. Very fast, very scary, and very expensive. He spent a few days in the clinic struggling with a rocky recovery, which the vets blamed on his age, and I blame on his Addisons. He's been home for several days now, is off of the pain meds, and thankfully seems to have more energy and appetite every day. He is also rocking a t-shirt that covers up his healing incision, and minimizes the time he has to spend in the cone of shame every day. The vets sent him home in a kelley green tee, that totally brings out the gold flecks in his eyes. He's definitely a winter - cranberry and cobalt are also good colors on him! Only half-kidding...

This week also included multiple memorial services. It's been an interesting experience to engage at various levels with them. One was for a dear lady I knew through church who was struggling with declining health and dreading potential long-term care solutions. Her children said that she "decided to go out on her own terms," and left this life a week before she was scheduled to move into an assisted living facility in Tuscon. We also sang at a memorial service for a friend's son, who lost his battle with brain cancer at 22. This service was packed, standing room only, and was full of the joy that he spread around him in his short time with us.

I've spent a lot of time thinking this week about what is truly important to me. At the end of the day, what will I remember? What seemingly urgent issues will be swept into the archives of memory and never brought out again? My little family was put through the ringer this week, but the joy that we shared when we could all be home together and at peace again made the challenging days worth the emotional and physical efforts. At the end of my life, what will be remembered about me? I would love to be able to say I created a legacy of joy and light. Since I've spent a good amount of time over the past few weeks considering what my priorities for 2015 should be, this has adjusted them slightly. What is the legacy you want to create?

Life is always unexpected, and sometimes it is hard. But the sun shines much brighter after a storm.

I Wish I Were Brave

I just did something that truly terrifies me. I took a huge leap of faith and put myself on the line, and laid bare my personal and professional aspirations to friends and colleagues, asking for their support. In my head, I know that at the end of the day these are people who are in my life for a reason, and if they change their opinion of me based on this request, they simply are not the member of my support network I assumed they would be.

That's where the fear lies - no matter what the responses are to this request, it will be obvious who does not support me. Yes, I will continually need to remind the ESFJ sensor-feeler in me not to take it personally, like just about every other human interaction I have. However, this feels really big because it's honestly the first time I have had something concrete to ask for since I started my business. Assuming you have people on your team is different than knowing who's there for sure.

Last January, I started off 2014 knowing that life would look a lot different at the end of the year. And oh, did it ever! There were a lot of things I decided to do that I had to justify to myself and to naysayers - start a company, support a husband who's job took him across the country for months, arrange a song for performance, quit a job. Big, life-altering decision, but changes that I have hope will lead to the flexible, fulfilling, happy and healthy life I dream about.

Now that the year is over, I am trying to decide if pushing myself to face my fears and try to embrace my true self has made it any easier to "hit send," so to speak, and follow through with decisions I make. I don't think that it really has, but I do know for sure that in the past year I experienced more moments of joy in my life than I have in a while. Inspired to continue designing the life that I want to live and share with my family, I resolve to ask myself, "Will this add joy to my life?" when facing a dilemma, and if the answer is yes, I'm in.

So long to last year, it's all becoming so clear
There's no use living in regret
Let's fight a good fight, train our eyes to find the light
And make this year the best one yet
Starting right here
Happy New Year

~ JJ Heller, "This Year"

Saturday, What a Day!

Today I am thankful for all of the elements of the beautiful holiday season that make the beginning of winter so festive. Preparing to kick off Advent tomorrow made me wonder at the impact a few pine boughs and some glittery ornaments have. (For the record, I'm not talking about the tinsel-strewn plastic decorations that festoon retail stores this time of year.)

After Thanksgiving, I give myself full liberty to deck the halls and break out the box of holiday music. The moments that make me the happiest are on quiet evenings when the lights on the tree are sparkling, and the flames from lit candles are reflected in all of the glass surfaces in the room. Theoretically in these moments, James Taylor is crooning carols in the background and snow is drifting outside, but that level of perfection is rare.

Regardless, I am grateful for this season that celebrates anticipation, and I look forward to cherishing many moments with friends and family as we ring out 2011 and prepare for 2012.

Friday, Happy Day

We bought a car today. It's not the most practical model we could have chosen, but it's bigger than the Corolla and definitely more comfortable. I am bubbling over with excitement, but more on the new addition to come later...

For now I want to pay homage to my little car. She has been dependable and low-maintenance, and has gotten me through several cross-country transitions. I am very grateful for the years I have been able to rely on her and her 5-speed standard transition, and hope that with a little on-going care she will stick around for another 150K mi.

Thursday

Happy Thanksgiving! Today I am going to espouse my gratitude for my family, who has been a constant source of support this year. If you appear on this wall of our living room, know that you hold a special place in my life, and are thought of daily.

First of all, I am grateful to have married into a family that is loving and fun. We don't get to visit as much as I would like, but I love my in-laws, and for that I know I am fortunate.

I am who I am today because of the values and manners that my parents instilled in me over the course of the past few decades. They taught me the importance of honesty, and modeled the work ethic that got me through college and grad school. Since Bosco was diagnosed, they have saved us thousands in vet bills by graciously letting him interrupt their lives when Brian and I are both out of town. Dad has pitched in to help solve issues I create in pretty much every home maintenance project I take on, and is an awesome resource when it comes to taking care of my little Corolla. I am very fortunate to have a friend in my mom, to vent to when I have a frustrating day or to to share any joys that come my way, and ask for advice when I am struggling with anything.

The biggest blessing in my life this year has been my husband. I am so lucky to be able to share every day with somebody who knows how to make me laugh, and likes food(especially breakfast) almost as much as I do. For the most part we have the same taste in music, television, and movies, and he has started to open up to the idea of international adventures. Today we hosted Thanksgiving dinner, and it was totally a team effort. I love that we have grown to complement each other's abilities and support each other's strengths, even for tasks like roasting a turkey! I'm so lucky to have found the partner I have, and look forward to many more Thanksgivings to share.

Wednesday, Happy Days

Today I give thanks for my passport. Without it I would not have experienced the amazing places I have seen, or met some of the most wonderful people I know. It represents my freedom to travel, and the privilege of returning home. I am also grateful that I have been granted the curiosity to take advantage of these benefits, for some will never truly understand the wonder inherent in reaching across borders with a friendly heart and an open mind.

Tuesday

Today I am grateful for my house. It's not huge and we don't have a yard, but it's ours. Everybody should be so lucky to have a roof over their head and a bed to sleep in.

Monday, Happy Days

Today I am grateful for the impact music has on the human condition. I am so fortunate to have been taught the fundamentals when I was young, and had ongoing chances to nurture my love of musical expression.

On this Monday I feel especially blessed to be able to spend three hours with Sound Circle, singing and creating and preparing for our upcoming Solstice concert. I was in a pretty dark place when I was invited to join them again last spring, and I can't overestimate the affect of being asked to genuinely contribute to something after months of being told my time was not valuable to anyone else. There is much to be said for finding other people who encourage you to stay true to yourself, but I will suffice this post to focus on the music!

We received some exciting news this afternoon. In conjunction with Think Humanity, we received a large grant to develop a sister ensemble at a refugee camp in Uganda. What an awesome opportunity to share the joy I find in music! Even though it might not happen until the summer of 2013, I am thrilled to embark on this adventure.

Sunday

There have been lots of recent dramas among my friends and family, and I want to take this week to articulate all of the elements of my life for which I feel particularly grateful. Sorry if you find this boring or cliche, but I firmly believe in the power of sharing my gratitude and recognizing the blessings in my life. Here we go:

Women in my family have had a pretty rough year when it comes to physical health. In the wake of a double mastectomy, the replacement of a second hip, and the fusion of several vertebrae, I am more aware of my youth at this moment than ever before. Even something as simple as walking is challenging for many and may be for me someday. For now, though, as limited as they may be, I am grateful for my physical abilities and for my health.

One by One I Count Them...

"Blessings only come to those who notice." ~ courtesy of my Dove Dark foil this morning

Today is definitely a day to notice all of the things in my life I am grateful for. Jay, first of all, and his miraculous transformation since that night he ended up beneath the cab of a semi. We've gotten to spend a lot of time together this summer and I am amazed at the person he has become, and thankful for his friendship and support!

I am grateful for being born to two loving parents, who taught me the value of hard work and staying true to myself. I have never been hungry a day in my life, and have always had a comfortable bed to call mine. Their unconditional willingness to help me do anything constantly amazes me, and I am truly fortunate to be able to depend on them.

As difficult as it is to force myself through my regular workout routines, I am aware that I am physically able and healthy enough to push myself that way, which is definitely a blessing most of us take for granted.

I also have a deep affection for this planet we inhabit, specifically my beautiful mountains and Colorado Blue skies, and the coasts with their powerful and infinite rolling waves.

I am extremely fortunate that I have been privileged to explore other parts of the world, and I deeply appreciate my open mind and awareness of other cultures and life experiences.

On this day, in particular, after three homes next door were destroyed by a terrible fire, I am blessed that I have a house. It may be riddled with construction shortcuts that have complicated our time here, but it is mine. I have hot water and functional plumbing, which is not something everyone in the world can say. I also have a lovely dining room table that is frequently full of food and surrounded by people I love. We were very fortunate to escape any damage from the flames, heat, smoke, water and foam.

As uncomfortable as I feel like my life is at the moment, I am extremely blessed to be where I am, and to have been where I have.