Showing posts with label resolutions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label resolutions. Show all posts

July 18, 2017

So Fresh and So Clean Clean

After a high-intensity spring filled to capacity with fundraisers, conferences, and award ceremonies, June ended up consumed by personal trips.  We spent a long weekend in New York City.  Sound Circle ventured to the Western Slope to perform, and spent a few days recording in the Rangely Tank.  Then we joined a family reunion on the Beaches of 30A in Florida.  Needless to say, by the end of the month the yard was looking rather unkempt and the house was much more cluttered than it's been in a while!

The first Friday we were both home again, a cleaning frenzy unlike I have ever experienced was sparked!  After an hour-long search for something I should have been able to immediately put my hands on, I was frustrated at my lack of organization, disgusted by the clumps of golden retriever hair that wafted around with everything I moved, and amazed at how much stuff had collected on all of our horizontal surfaces. 

Brian had an emergency at the office and had to go in that Saturday.  On top of having to work all day, the poor guy had to be at his desk by 6am!  Trying to be supportive, I rolled out of bed when he got up to shower, and made coffee.  Initially I was thrilled at the prospect having the house to myself to work some and relax, but as I was lounging in bed after he left, my brain wouldn't stop thinking about all of the work that needed to be done.  I wanted to organize the storage closet in my office, and sort through the piles of mail that had collected on the kitchen island over the past month.  There was lots of laundry to do, and all of our packing and un-packing had created a pile of half-used toiletries on the bathroom counter.  It didn't take long for me to get out of bed and make a tour of our main floor, mentally listing all of the areas that desperately needed attention.  A lot of attention!  

I wish I could re-create the angst that inspired such a burst of energy, because I don't remember the last time I was so productive.  I cleared off every surface and loaded the dining room table with the piles that needed to be sorted.  I started the laundry, deep cleaned the kitchen and all of the bathrooms, swept and vacuumed the whole house, and refreshed all of the sheets and linens. 

At some point during the day, I realized that since the yard is usually his domain, when Brian got home he'd feel obligated to mow the lawn and fix up at least the front yard.  But who wants to deal with that after a full day of problem-solving?  With Bosco's supervision, I trimmed a bunch of low-hanging branches and cut back our aggressive bushes, dead-headed the faded iris, and pulled all of the thistles and milkweed I could get my hands on.  The mower cooperated and I got the entire yard cut, and scrubbed the sap off the deck furniture. Between the weeds, all of the dead pine needles piled on the deck, and the shredded pine cone bits our charming squirrels insist on dropping in the back yard, I filled both of our trash bins with yard debris.  By the time Brian got home, I was giving Bosco a bath, in hopes of extending the pleasure of the clean house and neat yard.  

It was a whirlwind of stuff.  And dirt(really grimy dirt).  And no writing or goal-setting or daydreaming.  And oh, was I sore for a couple of days.  But Sunday was pure bliss!  Sleeping in, with fresh sheets and a soft fluffy pup.  Waking up to a clutter-free truly clean house with no chores left to do.  We both got to relax and enjoy our little sanctuary for the rest of the weekend!

All this week I've felt organized, more productive, and and more motivated to keep things from collecting like that.  Something I hope to remember in the future every time I am inclined to put off something menial - chores/responsibilities/work tasks only get bigger and more complicated the longer you procrastinate them! 

January 3, 2015

I Wish I Were Brave

I just did something that truly terrifies me. I took a huge leap of faith and put myself on the line, and laid bare my personal and professional aspirations to friends and colleagues, asking for their support. In my head, I know that at the end of the day these are people who are in my life for a reason, and if they change their opinion of me based on this request, they simply are not the member of my support network I assumed they would be.

That's where the fear lies - no matter what the responses are to this request, it will be obvious who does not support me. Yes, I will continually need to remind the ESFJ sensor-feeler in me not to take it personally, like just about every other human interaction I have. However, this feels really big because it's honestly the first time I have had something concrete to ask for since I started my business. Assuming you have people on your team is different than knowing who's there for sure.

Last January, I started off 2014 knowing that life would look a lot different at the end of the year. And oh, did it ever! There were a lot of things I decided to do that I had to justify to myself and to naysayers - start a company, support a husband who's job took him across the country for months, arrange a song for performance, quit a job. Big, life-altering decision, but changes that I have hope will lead to the flexible, fulfilling, happy and healthy life I dream about.

Now that the year is over, I am trying to decide if pushing myself to face my fears and try to embrace my true self has made it any easier to "hit send," so to speak, and follow through with decisions I make. I don't think that it really has, but I do know for sure that in the past year I experienced more moments of joy in my life than I have in a while. Inspired to continue designing the life that I want to live and share with my family, I resolve to ask myself, "Will this add joy to my life?" when facing a dilemma, and if the answer is yes, I'm in.

So long to last year, it's all becoming so clear
There's no use living in regret
Let's fight a good fight, train our eyes to find the light
And make this year the best one yet
Starting right here
Happy New Year


~ JJ Heller, "This Year"