Broken Hearts Make it Rain

This morning I attended the Business Women's Leadership Group hosted by the Boulder Chamber.  The theme(fitting for Valentine's Day) was "Love Yourself & Your Heart," and featured a panel of speakers offering advice about heart health, stress management, work-life balance, sleep and nutrition.  People asked for advice about everything from "How can I better prepare for an appointment with my cardiologist or GP to maximize our time together," to "Why am I awake for an hour in the middle of every night," and "How can I tell whether I'm just cranky today or if I'm suffering from actual anxiety?"  The speakers each had a unique perspective with helpful tips about what it takes to feel balanced and be healthy, but none of the advice they offered was newsworthy or revolutionary.  Sleep more, eat whole foods as much as you can, and stay active(even a minute of walking around your house to break up bouts of sitting qualifies as "activity!")  All good reminders!  Overall, I very much enjoy BWLG events, and the turnout this morning was no exception.

However, my experience of the whole conversation was shaded by an experience I had yesterday, which I feel is an indication of why it's easy to bring a group of 60 women together to talk about why we need more sleep, healthy activity, and positive nutrition.  I met with a client who breezed into the conference room a few minutes late and looking very flustered.  As she settled down I offered to take a minute if she needed some time to get centered, and she burst into tears.  She had come from a meeting with her director(also a female leader in her company), who had just told her that she was not living up to her salaried position, because she wasn't responding to emails after dinner, and hadn't put in enough time on the weekends lately.  This woman has a fierce work ethic and more integrity than most I've had the privilege to collaborate with.  Hearing about someone being disappointed that she had been spending time in the evenings with her husband and two small children instead of responding to after hours work requests?  My heart broke for her! 

To me, a salary means that I will put in as many hours as it takes to get the job done.  During conference weeks, I can easily put in back-to-back 17-hour days that are exhausting.  But there are weeks during the summer or in the middle of ski season when I don't have deadlines, and get to take a half-day to go for a hike or spend a random Wednesday on the slopes with my dad.  Unfortunately, this is not the first time that I have encountered a manager who has the expectation of "salaried" employees to be accessible 24/7, and I think this is a sad factor contributing to our current society. 

The panelists this morning spoke about taking care of yourself in order to be the most productive person you can be, particularly as women attempting to thrive in professional environments.  But how can we as a culture move away from the constant urgency that surrounds us?  Feeling tethered to our email accounts and our cell phones is not the answer to living a balanced and healthy life.  No matter our gender, we have to set boundaries as individuals and focus on working within our limits.  This is a critical step when we make commitments to others - for work, family, or personal obligations.  I can work on that, and you can work on that.  But it will take a community working together to respect ourselves and our potential before the societal norms begin to shift, and I'd like to see the impacts of that change sooner rather than later.