August 26, 2019

A Golden Retriever Changed My Life

Thirteen years ago, the Universe conspired to bring us together in a whirlwind event that had ripple effects on everyone in my family for years. On this day in 2006, my cousin and his wife were waiting to turn at a red light when they were hit by a semi that lost control, sideswiping them and the row of cars stopped behind them. That night, we offered to take care of Bosco while my cousin and his wife recovered, thinking it would be a week or two while they could focus on getting out of the hospital and healing. At that point in time, we had been married just under a year, and had purchased our first home only a couple of weeks prior to the accident. We had not been thinking about, talking about, or looking for a pet! But the first night we went to bed with that soft and sassy golden snuggled between us, I knew in my heart that he had found his forever home.

One afternoon there was a voicemail waiting for us after work stating that the puppy was too much for them to manage on top of everything else, and either we could claim him or they would find him a new home. We walked to Sonic on that chilly October night to celebrate with some vanilla soft serve, which became a tradition for the three of us on special occasions.

At three months, he was potty trained when he moved in with us, but hadn’t had any other disciplines instilled yet. So we enrolled in the obedience course at the Boulder Humane Society, which teaches clicker training. On the afternoon following his ‘graduation’ from the class, he somehow retrieved the paper certificate and the plastic clicker from the kitchen counter and destroyed both of them. This ironic act of defiance fit directly in line with the independent personality Bosco showcased in all areas of his world.


When he was happy, the whole room was electrified with his joy. The unconditional affection that he lavished on us was the best way to come home after a tough day at work. And when he had done something naughty, he was guilty from head to tail! If he didn’t greet us at the door, we knew instantly something was wrong. He would cower in the corner while we searched for anything out of place, usually finding a chewed up piece of mail or music, the remnants of a loaf of bread he had nabbed from the counter, or – once – Brian’s hand-knit Christmas stocking partially unraveled. (Mom fixed it, and the next year she placed warning jingle bells in the toes of all of our stockings – the “Bubby bells,” which worked like a charm!) When you discovered the incident, he would slowly make his way over to you in the most pathetic army crawl, avoiding eye contact and radiating shame. Generally, watching us clean up the mess he had left seemed to be punishment enough because he would spend the next hour slinking around after you with remorseful eyes that begged forgiveness and promised good behavior from that moment on. 

Even in spite of his dependence on steroids to manage his Addison’s Disease, he loved food. Eating it, as well as watching us prepare it – especially salads. We called this sous-chefing, when he would insert himself as close to the counter as possible, and watch the activity with rapt attention. His favorite snack was leafy green vegetables! On one trip to pick up our farm share, he couldn’t restrain himself and I caught him chomping happily on some beet greens sticking out of the market bag. And breakfast and dinner were served on very strict schedules – unerringly within 5 minutes of his meal time, he would station himself in front of you and stare you down, in case you might forget that it was almost time to eat. When you scooped the kibbles out for him, he jumped in two quick ecstatic circles while making his way to his dish, which we referred to as his dinner dance.

He enjoyed riding in the car, hanging his head out the window and reveling in the wind rushing through his ears. He was always welcome at my parent's house when we spent time with them, and when we turned down their street he knew where we were headed. He had a loop around mom and dad’s acreage that he would do when he got out of the car, taking off and lapping around just beyond their treeline to check in on his land marks and explore any new developments, and eventually make it back around to the driveway. When he really got to run, it was a beautiful thing to watch the joy he experienced at full gallop. 

We were very fortunate to have supportive family so close, because one of the main complications from the Addison’s meant that any environmental changes or experiences outside of his routine stressed him out. It would take weeks to recover from a couple of days at the kennel, and once he was diagnosed and we figured out what was happening, my parents welcomed him any time we both had to travel. As much as he adored them both, he also knew they would do anything for him, and tended to take advantage of getting spoiled. Bosco could look sideways at the door at any point in time, and my dad would jump up to take him outside. And mom was prone to keeping puppy treats in her pockets, and if she was relaxing on the couch, he would nose his way in and help himself – no personal space!

He really loved to play in the snow. One winter afternoon we took him to my parents’ house and spent the day sledding on their large hill. Bosco definitely did not enjoy the experience from one of our laps in a saucer moving down the slope, but he LOVED chasing us down the hill! He would then grab the plastic sled from us and pull it back up the hill, ready to chase the next passenger down.

Swimming was also a fun pastime for him, though it was a skill that he had to re-learn every spring when it got warm enough to venture into ponds and streams. He would dash into the water eagerly, but the second his feet left the security of the ground, he would turn back toward the shore in panic and have to gather his wits about him before he’d venture back into the shallows. Inevitably, the pull of the tennis ball floating just beyond his reach would become so great he couldn’t resist, and he would steel himself to go after it. This first attempt always involved great strokes of his front legs coming up out of the water, generating huge splashes that obstructed his vision and pushed the ball he was after even further away. He would turn around, splash back to the shore, re-set, and try again. Each attempt became a little more graceful, until you could see the light bulb moment when he would find the rhythm, and swim gracefully after his prize. He would then swim the perimeter of the body of water he was in, collecting other balls – some that had been abandoned, and some that were involved in ongoing games of fetch. The most he ever got in his mouth at one time was three, which was quite a feat.

There were so may moments in our time together when it was obvious to me that he was absolutely meant to be a part of our family. The timing on us just moving into a pet-friendly place when he needed somewhere to stay. When he was diagnosed with Addison’s disease and several people in our life were surprised at our willingness to purchase and regularly inject him with the medicine his adrenal system needed to regulate itself. And the way he so easily assumed the role of my sidekick when I started working from home. There is no doubt in my mind that whether you know it or not, when the time is right, a pet will find its way into your life!

When we moved to Lafayette, our new back yard became a peaceful sanctuary for him. He knew every stone, every blade of grass, every short cut onto the deck. The last few months, the only time I felt like he was content was when he was lounging in the grass. He would settle in and pant happily, enjoying the sunshine and using his nose to follow the goings-on around him.

In his final years, he lost his hearing so gradually that I thought he had simply become an ornery old man who didn’t think he needed to listen to me when I called to him out in the yard. But when he didn’t react to the doorbell one day, it became apparent that his hardness of hearing was not elective. Eventually, his back legs got stiff and stopped cooperating with him. He rapidly lost his vision completely after last Christmas, which resulted in his hesitancy to tackle stairs and a new dependence on walls and furniture to find his way around the house. It also meant I abandoned my desk upstairs in the loft, and settled into a routine of working at the dining room table or the kitchen island, because it was such a challenge to get him back downstairs when he would inevitably find his way up the stairs searching for me. 


We had to say goodbye at the end of June. We spent his final day in the back yard, lounging in the grass, and enjoying the sunshine and some vanilla soft serve. All things considered, Bosco lived a really good life. He knew love and comfort, and shared his light with everyone in our life. 

Rest well, sweet friend. I will forever be grateful to have called you mine.


August 12, 2019

All My Old Flames Have New Names

In the car running an errand with a couple of cousins, we came up with a game:

Stripper Name or Car Color?

  1. Mystic Emerald
  2. Burnt Sunset
  3. Ooh La La Rouge
  4. Blizzard Pearl
  5. Freudian Gilt
  6. Beluga Brown


*All of the above are car colors...which we agreed would make great stripper names!

April 20, 2019

You Wouldn't Get This From Any Other Guy

It's been a while since I've been to a live concert.  But Ben Rector came to town again, and we were gifted a couple of primo tickets to the Magic tour! 

Once again we fell in love with the opening act, Josie Dunne - a funky pop artist with a variety of grooves.  A bright mix of Motown, a bit of hip hop, and an extra helping of sass.

Then we enjoyed some of our favorites from Ben's early albums, a nice mix of his latest album, and a few of BG's recent faves - classics Ben has been recreating.  He even mashed up with Rick Astley and legitimately Rick-rolled the entire audience at the Fillmore.  Do yourself a favor and check out Newy Lewis and the Hues.

It was a great evening - and we even parked next to an apropos neon sign in the window of a salon, ending the night on an extra magical note!





January 11, 2019

Ticking Away the Moments

I can't remember which gathering it was, but during some event we hosted at our house over the holidays I had a conversation with someone older and much wiser than myself about our perceptions of time. Apparently, as we age, the amount of space memories and experiences take up in our physical brains gets smaller, so we actually perceive time to pass more quickly. Another effect of aging to join these expanding laugh lines! But I do find myself more frequently uttering, “How is it already Thursday?” and, “Holy cow, it’s almost February?” and, “Where did 2018 go?!”

I've had the luxury of being able to take extended weekends to appreciate the natural beauty of Colorado, to travel and explore new cities and savor new flavors, visit family all across the country, and relax in far-away places, and wouldn't trade those moments for anything. But, in order to truly cherish the beautiful moments, you can’t trade the icky ones either. The joy inherent in a reunion with a sweet friend also requires a goodbye.

With Bosco’s age becoming more apparent on a daily basis, last week I found myself thinking fondly of the days his boundless energy and destructive teeth wreaked havoc on our bedroom furniture. Something I would never have considered in the moment I was researching whether it was possible to smooth out and refinish walnut with chunks gnawed out of it!

I have also found myself nostalgic for days when all I had to do was get through piles of homework assignments and make sure the dishwasher was emptied when it was clean. I remember constantly feeling stressed and overwhelmed during high school and college, longing for the day when I’d have a job that didn’t involve bringing any work home, and I could enjoy my evenings and weekends – ha! I would love the ability to settle down with an interesting book and read for hours without feeling guilty about all of the things I should be doing instead.

Perceived speed aside, I did need the sage reminder that you only get to experience this life once, and each piece of it – beautiful or bitter – contributes to the tapestry you are weaving.

November 7, 2018

No Peace in This Mind

Another mid-term election came and went yesterday, and we finally get a bit of a break from the hounding political commercials, survey calls, and orders to exercise our American right to vote!  Hopefully we will have a couple of months off before the dreaded 2020 presidential campaign truly gets going.

Several contentious issues were on the ballot here in Colorado, including a few tax proposals to fund transportation and education, some minor updates to modernize language in the state constitution, new redistricting processes, and a proposition (112) initiated by a group called Colorado Rising for Health and Safety.  This was to require that any new oil and gas fracking rigs be required to set back at least 2500 feet from any homes, schools, hospitals, and waterways.

Weld County, just east of us, has an invasive network of infrastructure related to fracking operations, and there have been issues with water quality getting worse going back at least five years - including one neighborhood showing that they could light the tap water coming out of their kitchen sink on fire!  Respiratory health issues have been on the rise in the area, which have been tied to the chemicals and debris related to the fracking, and there have also been more than 15 unfortunate explosions in the past year that have injured citizens and workers, and taken out homes that exist above this network of underground pipes transporting pressure and water and oil back and forth. 


Overall, I understand that oil and gas operations account for nearly 7% of the state economy.  But the impact I see it having on my community is very negative, and this measure would have imposed some limitations on that potential danger.  I don't know if this is the best solution to the problem - if such a thing is possible, but of all the options on the table at the moment, I think this could make a tangible difference.

The measure failed, 43% in favor versus 57% against.

The current regulation is 500 ft, and existing rigs would have been allowed to continue operation as they are.  However, the Oil and Gas Commission did everything in their power to halt this progress.  The first step was to post a companion ballot issue that would compensate them for any losses that might be incurred should Prop 112 pass.  This amendment (74) would add vague language requiring the state government to compensate anyone who owned property that was reduced in value by any government decision or action.  For example, say a corporation owned an acre of land that would potentially provide access to an oil field, then the government enacted the regulation requiring a 2,500 ft setback, which meant that the company would no longer be able to use that acre of land to access potentially millions of dollars of oil.  The state would then owe the company for all of the potential oil they no longer had viable access to. 

Once 112 was approved and on the ballot, the fossil fuel industry pumped almost $32 million into campaigns driving opposition to Proposition 112.  Another $12 million was spent promoting Amendment 74.  That's $44 million just invested in two state-wide issues.  What else could have been done with that money if it had been invested in state infrastructure, supporting education initiatives, or improving the environment.  Really, anything other than manipulative television and radio spots would have been much more productive.

The main investor in these endeavors was Protect Colorado, a state issue committee registered for the sole purpose of opposing the "safer setbacks measure."  Over half of their funding came from just four organizations - Anadarko Petroleum(Texas-based), Noble Energy(Texas-based), PDC Energy(Colorado-based), and Extraction Oil & Gas(Colorado-based).  Beyond their direct contributions, Noble produced television commercials throughout October urging voters to reject the amendment which they then paid to air directly, but claimed to the FCC that they were not political in nature, and withheld them from campaign finance disclosure filings.  Most of the propaganda opposing the measure was produced by coalitions with intentionally misleading names, like Colorado Rising Action and Coloradoans for Responsible Energy Development.  Their ads and billboards falsely claimed that 112 would remove millions of jobs from the state, or somehow cripple rural communities spread throughout the scenic mountains we so adore.  In line with our national information distribution, these misleading soundbites easily manipulated the uninformed population.

To compare, barely $3 million was raised to support Prop 112, most of which was donated by grass roots efforts garnering $50-$500 donations from private citizens.  The largest contribution provided less than a quarter of the fund, coming from the non-profit Food & Water Watch.

These numbers don't even account for donations to candidates who support the oil and gas agenda.  More than $1 in $5 of DISCLOSED donations to all statewide campaigns and political groups this year came directly from a fossil fuel corporation.  But what about the undisclosed contributions that happen - both under the table, and on the air right in front of us?  The impact private financial influence has over our 'democratic' society is mind-boggling.

When will any of the elected leaders who claim that campaign finance reform is a necessary priority take action?  I fear that because we have allowed the system to open itself up to the 'voices' of corporations and billionaires, we will never be able to combat the dark money that has our system tied and bound.  To be re-elected, they rely on the existing system - should they make any efforts to adjust it, they will not have another term to impact any other changes.

When my angst gets to a certain boiling point, which it has been simmering at for a while now, I start looking for something I could personally do that would impact any of the things that make me angry.  Aside from running for office and beating my own head against that brick wall - which I definitely do not have the spine for - the next thing that makes sense is to throw up my hands and invest in a lovely piece of property in France or maybe in Costa Rica, where I could dial back the pressure, find a hospitality job, and focus on other more important aspects of being human like seeking the perfect red blend or educating ecotourists about reducing our footprints on this planet.  Doesn't that sound delightful?



But where would that really get me?  Perhaps my blood pressure would go down in the short term, but it would not impact the negative trends seem to be happening all around us.  And my tax money would still be contributing to the bottom line of already wealthy individuals manipulating the government, unless I were to completely renounce.

At the moment, no options feel like a positive change.  Any advice?  Any wisdom out there about how to continue working to build the kind of world I want to live in, when everything around me seems to find value in things I can't personally support?


August 4, 2018

Everything is Almost Perfect Here

I had an epiphany this week that has motivated me through several tasks, which I want to share:  Done is better than perfect!

Pareto's principle tells us that 80% of our results are produced by 20% of our efforts.  So within that 20% of effort, what is the difference between almost-perfect, and almost-almost perfect?   For me, quite a bit of time and procrastination - not necessarily improvement.  I don't think of myself as a perfectionist, since I don't really ever think there is a state of 'perfect.'  I do constantly doubt the done-ness of my work - and am always trying to raise the bar, thought - maybe there's a bit of perfectionism in there somewhere, driving me crazy.

This week I've been working on learning to back off and be satisfied with the second or third draft, as opposed to tweaking and re-tweaking and waiting until the morning to re-read and re-tweak.  Done is much better than perfect! It's a bit nerve-wracking for me, but the relief of being able to check the task off of my list is so much better than the weight of having it continue to hang over my head.

So for now, I'm adopting the mantra, and we'll see if it continues to drive forward momentum.


February 14, 2018

Broken Hearts Make it Rain

This morning I attended the Business Women's Leadership Group hosted by the Boulder Chamber.  The theme(fitting for Valentine's Day) was "Love Yourself & Your Heart," and featured a panel of speakers offering advice about heart health, stress management, work-life balance, sleep and nutrition.  People asked for advice about everything from "How can I better prepare for an appointment with my cardiologist or GP to maximize our time together," to "Why am I awake for an hour in the middle of every night," and "How can I tell whether I'm just cranky today or if I'm suffering from actual anxiety?"  The speakers each had a unique perspective with helpful tips about what it takes to feel balanced and be healthy, but none of the advice they offered was newsworthy or revolutionary.  Sleep more, eat whole foods as much as you can, and stay active(even a minute of walking around your house to break up bouts of sitting qualifies as "activity!")  All good reminders!  Overall, I very much enjoy BWLG events, and the turnout this morning was no exception.

However, my experience of the whole conversation was shaded by an experience I had yesterday, which I feel is an indication of why it's easy to bring a group of 60 women together to talk about why we need more sleep, healthy activity, and positive nutrition.  I met with a client who breezed into the conference room a few minutes late and looking very flustered.  As she settled down I offered to take a minute if she needed some time to get centered, and she burst into tears.  She had come from a meeting with her director(also a female leader in her company), who had just told her that she was not living up to her salaried position, because she wasn't responding to emails after dinner, and hadn't put in enough time on the weekends lately.  This woman has a fierce work ethic and more integrity than most I've had the privilege to collaborate with.  Hearing about someone being disappointed that she had been spending time in the evenings with her husband and two small children instead of responding to after hours work requests?  My heart broke for her! 

To me, a salary means that I will put in as many hours as it takes to get the job done.  During conference weeks, I can easily put in back-to-back 17-hour days that are exhausting.  But there are weeks during the summer or in the middle of ski season when I don't have deadlines, and get to take a half-day to go for a hike or spend a random Wednesday on the slopes with my dad.  Unfortunately, this is not the first time that I have encountered a manager who has the expectation of "salaried" employees to be accessible 24/7, and I think this is a sad factor contributing to our current society. 

The panelists this morning spoke about taking care of yourself in order to be the most productive person you can be, particularly as women attempting to thrive in professional environments.  But how can we as a culture move away from the constant urgency that surrounds us?  Feeling tethered to our email accounts and our cell phones is not the answer to living a balanced and healthy life.  No matter our gender, we have to set boundaries as individuals and focus on working within our limits.  This is a critical step when we make commitments to others - for work, family, or personal obligations.  I can work on that, and you can work on that.  But it will take a community working together to respect ourselves and our potential before the societal norms begin to shift, and I'd like to see the impacts of that change sooner rather than later.