Getting Acquainted With the Edge

There has been a lot of spring/summer construction in Boulder County over the past couple of months, which has resulted in a lot of extra traffic. All of the major roads we could take to get into town have some project in the works, and I have started to add an additional 5-10 minutes to my commute times knowing that I will encounter the neon vests standing at the side of the road with the Stop sign on a stick, and end up in a line of cars waiting to pass. (Not an easy feat for someone who serially runs 5 minutes late!)

Because of this, I've spent more time than usual stuck in my little car, frustrated with everything around me that is out of my control. NPR can only distract me for so long before my mind continues creating what-if scenarios that have little chance of ever becoming a reality, but have a very powerful impact on the ball of panic that grows so easily in my chest when my imagination takes over. Did I mention that my air conditioning needs to be re-charged, so I've been experiencing this with my windows down, trying to sweat as little as possible as June's dry 90's circulates through the vehicle?

I've been trying to use this time to practice accepting the fact that I can control very little! I've been focusing on the moment, appreciating natural beauty of the Boulder trees that line the roads and the spectacular clouds that decorate the Colorado blue skies. I've been trying to arrest the physical sensations that accompany my anxiety with breathing mantras and EFT tapping, and have been able to successfully bring my attention back to the present moment. The deep breathing relieves my muscle tension, and the tapping points have an immediate impact on my physical condition, in the best way. No more panic-induced adrenaline coursing through me, no more frustrated resentful energy blasting at the poor guy holding the stop sign. No more apologizing for things I can't change.

This approach has led me to more easily let life happen as it progresses, and now when I get stopped where Valmont becomes one lane, I'm grateful for the minute or two I have to relax and center myself.

Advice from a mountain

Reach new heights.

There is beauty as far as the eye can see.

Be uplifting.

Get to the point.

Climb beyond your limitations.

Life has its ups and downs.

Enjoy the view.

~ Ilan Shamir

In the Colorado Snow

Walking home under the northern lights

You could see clear across the world to the other side

And the snow fell so still like music to the ground

And I'd take refuge in that holy sound.

(from Jennifer Berezan's "Refuge")

We got about ten inches of snow over the past 24-hours, so school was canceled for the day. That meant that my appointments were all rescheduled, and Brian stayed in to work from home. This also meant that Bosco got to spend some time watching us wrestle with the layer covering the driveway and sidewalk, which entertained him much more than us.

After a couple of weeks wishing we could move past the bitter cold and into spring, this shock of winter has reminded me of the joy that we find in snuggling in for a day to watch the peaceful world blanketed in white outside.

Who is Gonna Come & Turn the Tide?

There are lots of factors that impact professional sports scores, and I won't devalue the influence of field conditions, pressure to perform, or a players' physical health on any given game day. That being said, there are two opportunities that can be practiced and perfected, and when you get paid what professional NFL and NBA players are paid, there's no excuse to have a mediocre accuracy: field goals shorter than 50 yards, and free throw shots at the basket.

This season in the NFL, there have been some miserable field goal kicks. When you have to do something that you have been practicing for months - probably years of your life - you should be able to do it well. In my fantasy team, I've had to pick up a new kicker three times, because people have been cut for under performing. Normally I'd be sympathetic to them, but each of them has missed multiple field goals in a game they lost, when scoring one of them would have won for their team.

Across the league this weekend(week 4), there were collectively 14 missed field goals! One announcer referred to it as "an epidemic, for which there is no known cure." For the love of extra points, get your act together!

Run the Gamut

I have a thousand brilliant lies
For the question:
How are you?

I have a thousand brilliant lies
For the question:
What is the Beloved?

If you think that the Truth can be known from words,
If you think that the Sun and the Ocean
Can pass through that tiny opening
Called the mouth,
O someone should start laughing!
Someone should start wildly Laughing!

Someone Should Start Laughing by Hafiz

In this world of superficial how-do-you-do's and rushed human encounters, this resonated with me. I am sharing in hopes that it might lift the spirits of someone else as well.

One of the biggest challenges I have faced over the past year has been finding a way to talk about myself. Not my elevator pitch about who I am and what I do. But what makes me unique, and what I have to offer that will add value to potential clients/current customers/the world around me. It's really hard for me to articulate.

I recently finished reading Peggy Klaus' book Brag! The Art of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It, and she addresses all of these things, and more. Working through her exercises and examples has given be a fresh perspective, and also helped explain why it's a frustrating process for me.

My first problem is that I am never satisfied with my accomplishments, because there is always something more I could have achieved. There is always room for improvement! Whether it's in my nature or it's due to my upbringing, I tend to seek my weaknesses and errors, and dwell on the things that didn't turn out the way I imagined them. The solution to this is to honor all of the small steps taken towards a goal, even if I don't actually achieve the goal I set in my mind.

The second thing I struggle with is that I find myself rather boring. Perhaps it's because I live with me every day - but there aren't many things about my life that I imagine anyone else would find interesting. This is, of course, because we are raised to compare ourselves to others around us, regardless of their unique circumstances and their journey. My social media feeds are loaded with amazing photos of friends who visit exotic far-away locations, spend endless afternoons at happy hours with craft brewers or gourmet chefs or California vintners, or have adorable kids developing into fascinating small people. I have none of those things at the moment, and looking at my days I don't think of anything I am involved with as having the potential to be of interest to anyone. However, I have been to many beautiful places, and have lots of lovely people in my life. I have been blessed to be able to experience a variety of wonderful arts, sports, adventure, and leisure.

The third reason this is a challenge for me is because I have put myself in the situation where I have to be confident and brag about my accomplishments in order to convince people to hire me. My success in this endeavor literally depends on my ability to sell myself! Like I said, there is always room for improvement, and I am hoping that becoming more intentional about the messaging I share about what I have to offer will point me down a path of growth on this front.

Joy You May Define in a Thousand Ways

Happy May Day! It's been a long week catching up from several trips in April. Feeling fairly productive so far, I invested this Friday in appreciating some of the people who have had a positive impact on me over the past six months that I've been working on this entrepreneurial gig. I loaded my sidekick and a field of tulips into the car with me, mapped out the best order to hit all of my destinations, and dropped off small colorful offerings of May Day joy.

I had nothing to sell, was not intending to interrupt anyone or take up any time, and just wanted to let people know that thinking of them makes me smile. However, what happened today was so much more than I anticipated! My first stop happened to be in the middle of a meeting that had sequestered everyone in the office except for one person who I had met before, but had not had an opportunity to work with directly. After a five minute conversation and an offer to take her out to coffee next week so we could continue to chat, she walked me out to my car and told me that I had been sent by the Universe to answer a question she had been struggling with, and that she suddenly felt free to enjoy her weekend.

My second stop was to a supplier who was entertaining a customer in her store, and I honestly tried to be clandestine but ended up getting absorbed into their conversation. We exchanged introductions, and I had to go back to the car to get a business card so we could connect. Three of the people I stopped to see were out for the day, but those instances allowed me to meet new people within their organizations who were quite excited about the flowers they now got to deliver to colleagues on my behalf. Some of my gifts were left with receptionists to deliver, which resulted in several gracious emails and phone calls.

In addition to brightening the desks of my clients, partners and mentors, I was able to introduce myself and my services to new people in a natural way that didn't feel the slightest bit sales-y. And everyone I interacted with was in a great mood! What started out as me wearing my heart on my sleeve and expressing my gratitude turned into a very productive day of networking. It is truly amazing what can happen when you stop thinking about what you need, and consider what you can give(or give back) to others who have shown you kindness.