The Lion Sleeps...

Saturday night we celebrated my parent's 34th anniversary with a family dinner and a Straight No Chaser show in Denver. What a fantastic end to a rough week - I am still smiling inside! The talent in the group is enormous, and the passion they have for the music and the joy that they find in entertaining is incredibly contagious! The music ranged from Madonna's "Like A Prayer" to a Superstition/Saturday Night Fever mashup, with a Lady Gaga medley and some Jason Mraz to mix it up. My favorite song, hands down, was their post-encore acoustic rendition of "In the Still of the Night." They brought the energy up and the sound down flawlessly with this classic a cappella, and captivated a full house. Absolutely breathtaking.

It made me realize how much I miss being on stage! I miss the outlet of the music, the companionship of the rehearsal process, and the joy of performing. I need to hurry up and get hired someplace so that I can build a life around my new routines!

All the Days that I Cost

I made it 173 days on the job-hunt before my first real panic attack. When I got back to Boulder this summer, I told myself that it would take at least three months to find a position that fit, and probably more with the current state of the economy. I was prepared for the blatant self-promotion and the pursuant rejections, and ready to suffer at becoming completely dependent on my husband. I took on more than my fair share of housework because I was home and it was convenient, and Brian's work days seem to be getting longer. I accepted my lack of a social life because of my isolation from human contact. I understood that there would be emotional ups and downs, and I prepared myself to brush off the negative associations and cling to the positive relationships and networks I could connect to.

But my first loan payment is due in two weeks, and I have nothing on the table. I had a really deep conversation this morning with a mentor about the power of staying positive and affirming to myself that I do have potential and will eventually find the perfect job, but the more I thought about it throughout the day the less positive I felt. By the time dinner was ready I was in tears and wondering what is wrong with me that I don't merit any form of response from companies I have applied to, and how I could have survived a rigorous MBA program without any skills that are applicable in today's society.

Upon being reminded that this country was built on the value of hard work, and that sometimes to make ends meet you don't get to choose what you do, I have considered just finding something to do. OK, I could wait tables - but who would hire me, with my limited restaurant experience from back in 1999? Nobody. I could go back to WS, or find another retail store I would enjoy, and could easily find a seasonal position with the OND season upon us. However, I don't know if I am willing to become a slave to the scheduling manger's whims, and give up every day my family will be expecting me to appear at. I could try to apply some of my education and look for students to tutor in French...or start advertising house-sitting services...or look for a part-time admin job in a doctor's office...and be completely thrilled that I am $100K in debt for no apparent reason.

But I need to be able to trust myself to continue the search for full-time work, that I have been focused on for the past two years, and try to make the most of the tools I have acquired. Much easier said than done!

Line 'Em Up

I hate election season. Passionately. And hate is not a word I use lightly. Don't get me wrong, I love my country and truly believe in the democratic process that supports the United States Constitution. OK, except for the Electoral College, but that's a conversation to hold another time...

That being said, the way that our current system is set into motion I feel that I am always forced to select between extreme options, which generally means choosing the lesser of two evils. How can this be a truly democratic system if there are no moderate candidates that can find funding to rival the GOP and the Dems? I sincerely believe that this country is so divided on every issue facing this generation of government that we will not make any progress. I don't think that somebody who is elected by half of a percent really has the confidence of a majority of the people he or she is supposed to be representing.

I also believe that we need to limit the amount of money that anybody can spend on a campaign - including supporting or opposing referendums, amendments, and propositions. The biggest issues on the ballot in Colorado this year are called "The Evil Three" and the campaign against them is worth $6.8 million! Negative ads, bumper stickers, mailings, and road signs...the proponents don't have a chance, with only $17,000! $6.8 million vs $17,000, how is that a fair election?! Two of them I agree would be bad for the state, but one would make it cheaper to register and drive a car, which I support. But it doesn't have a chance - people who show up without really understanding the pros and cons of each will still vote no, because that's the message that they have received.

Another thing I think we need to reign in is the amount of time that people can spend campaigning. Since the primary elections this summer, we have received over 100 ads in the mail about ballot choices. Five of them were generic "get out the vote" ads, which is fine, but the rest were really unnecessary publications decrying horrific opponents or condoning records and missions. Similar to the television ads, I have trouble taking these seriously because the messages shared are taken out of context and seem to be enhanced to the point of being ridiculous. Not to mention the fact that they are expensive double-sided color prints on cardstock that is coated with wax and not recyclable! Giving them the month leading up to the election (even if you want to say the entire month of October, I could be fine with that) should provide plenty of time to post information, assail constituents with unsustainable propaganda, host meetings and Q&A sessions, and photoshop awful pictures of their opponents. We definitely do not need six months of that every year!

And I have told Diane Primavera's minions in Utah that if they call me one more time to ensure that I will be supporting her, I will definitely NOT be voting democratic for house district 33, but they insist on calling my cell phone and the house line EVERY DAY. Unfortunately her only legitimate opponent "Sleazy Beezley" might get my vote just because of her harassment. Either way Nov 2 can't come soon enough!